i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
