weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize