Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
