She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
