We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Please don't give away my fajitas
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
