bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
