I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
