Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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