There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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