Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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