DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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