Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
