Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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