It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
