well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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