Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
