used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
