They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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