fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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