I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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