Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
