There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
