Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
