I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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