She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
