I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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