He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
foreskin is a definite game changer
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
