i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize