i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
