it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize