you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
