I showed him my bush... on skype.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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