I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
