How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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