Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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