the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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