This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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