i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize