We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
