can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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