whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
