I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
