I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize