Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
