People with herpes should wear stickers.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
