it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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