Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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