Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
