Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
