I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
