you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
