We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
