there was a trapeze. enough said
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
