we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize