There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
