Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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