The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
