one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
