Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
