Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
