real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
