alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
