Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
