But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
