Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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