Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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