Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
