If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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