hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
