How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
