No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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